God Forbid I Should Get Fat!

I have a bone to pick.

I participate in a number of online communities about pregnancy which is greater than zero, but probably SHOULD be zero, if we’re being honest. I’m learning right quick that other pregnant women are the actual worst. Lately, because we’re all roughly at the same stage of our pregnancies, we’re all starting to notice baby bumps that are more baby and less “I’ve eaten all of the salt on Earth” bloat. Apparently this is cause for a whole lot of hand-wringing because oh no! What if I get too fat and then I can’t lose the weight and I’m just fat FOREVER?!?!?!111 Cue comparisons to celebrities who gained a lot of weight during their pregnancies and then lost all of it just like that because obviously we should all be aspiring to be just like celebrities, right?

I cannot begin to express how gross this is to me. Why the hell are women so obsessed with weight gain during pregnancy? I mean it’s really, actually baffling to me. YOU’RE GROWING A HUMAN. Of course you’re going to gain weight! And once the baby is here, you’re going to be super concerned with feeding it and, you know, not letting it die, and I’m guessing you’re not really going to have time to devote to working out constantly, and there are going to be a lot of times that you’ll grab whatever is handy and you actually have time to eat before you’re going to make sure all the macros are “correct” for your post-baby diet. Pregnancy is going to change your body, obviously, but it’s also going to change your priorities. At least, good sweet lord, I hope so.

This whole obsession just makes me so uncomfortable. I wish women could value themselves for more than the number on their clothing labels.

Also, I love this so hard:


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Welcome, Parasite!

Oh lord.

You know, I’m not sure how I ever believed that I would keep to any kind of timely schedule updating a blog. I had all these hopes and dreams, and all these plans to sit down every X amount of time and post something, but yeah. To be totally honest, I’m just not the kind of person who has her life together in that organized a way.

BUT! Recently I’ve found out I’m pregnant (ok, it’s been a few months so not that recently or anything) and I’ve been reading a lot of blogs and I’ve been having a lot of ~*thoughts*~ and I was like “man, I should start a blog.” Because that usually ends well for me. And then I was like, Oh wait! I’m a genius and I already have a blog!

So here we are again. Hello, strangers. I’m going to actually try to use this space to collect my thoughts and to talk about things that I think people IRL probably don’t want to talk about, or that are embarrassing to even ask, or whatever else.

See y’all again soon.

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A Rose By Any Other Name

Hey, hi. It’s been a little longer than I intended since my last post, but since I’m fairly certain I have no readers yet, I’m guessing all zero of you will forgive me.

But here I am again, with a crisis! I’m hoping that the simple act of typing it all out will help me make heads or tails of this issue, or clarify what I’m feeling for real. And, if not, I guess I’ll have to try and try again.

The issue is this: I’m getting married in just over four weeks. I mean, the getting married part isn’t really the issue, because I’m HELLA PUMPED to get married, wildly in love with my incredible fiance, and not nervous or apprehensive in the slightest. My issue is with trying to decide what to do with my last name.

I’ve been married before, and the first time around, I changed my last name to his without a moment’s hesitation. It just wasn’t something I thought much about, despite identifying as a feminist and believing that it wasn’t exactly fair that I should be expected to take his name just as a matter of tradition. I did it anyway, for reasons I still don’t really know. I went back to my maiden name after we divorced, and I couldn’t have been happier about it. (His last name was super weird and my married name sounded awkward as fuck, also.)

He has also been married before, and his ex-wife never changed her name, despite telling him that she would. It was really important to him to share a last name (even if it wasn’t his), and he was deeply hurt that she always promised to change hers, and then came up with any and every excuse to avoid actually doing it.

This time, we’re both willing to change our names, and excited to do so, but we can’t decide what to change them to! I don’t want my last name — I have no connection to it on a sentimental level, don’t have a great relationship with my dad, and it’s exceptionally common. I’m thrilled to get rid of it! And he’s also not really attached to his last name, either — he’s never known his dad, who bailed when he was just a baby, and he has his mother’s last name instead. It’s very long and difficult to spell, and he’s spent his entire life spelling it out every time he says it to someone.

In the end, I think we’ve decided that we can either hyphenate (which was definitely not our first choice, given our relative ambivalence toward our current surnames) or make up a new, blended last name. We’re leaning toward the new, blended last name made up of letters from our current last names, but I’m dreading the process of actually doing it. It’s going to be a long, expensive legal process, and I’m already stressing about the backlash we’re going to face from friends and family who are decidedly more traditional.

If you’re reading, and you did something OTHER than the traditional wife-taking-his-last-name thing, please comment! I feel like this is going to become a much more common issue, especially as more states are legalizing same-sex marriages and there’s little precedent for name changes in those situations.




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When Pizza’s in a Ramekin, You Can Eat Pizza Anytime

Hello again.

I cooked things today. I mean, I cook things on lots of days, but today I decided to get adventurous and try something from Pinterest again, which I haven’t been doing a whole lot of lately. I got into a rut for a while in which I’d make the same three or four meals all the time, because they’re easy and my fiancé and I both like them, so why not? Except the “why not” is apparently a worsening of digestive issues I’ve had and managed well enough to not disrupt my life for basically forever, to the point that I thought I should probably do something about it now. Like, uh, not eating onions or garlic anymore, since those are two major triggers. Guess what has onions and/or garlic in it?

Literally every fucking thing.

So back to Pinterest I’ve gone, groveling and begging for forgiveness for ever straying. I’m sorry, Pinterest. You really are the bee’s knees.

I’ve had a lot of success so far. There’s a whole host of new research on which foods trigger IBS issues, and which I can probably safely eat. I’ve been limiting my FODMAPs for a few weeks, despite my unending love of garlic and onions, along with avocado and other things I’m not supposed to eat now. I’ve been feeling mostly better, but I’m not sure if a life without guacamole is life at all. PLEASE SOMEONE FEED ME GUACAMOLE.

Anyway, tonight I made these awesome pizza bowls from Shutterbean and they were fantastic. Since absolutely every pasta sauce I’ve found in any store has onions and/or garlic in it, I had to just make my own. That’s not part of her recipe, but it was super simple — I just simmered a can of diced tomatoes, a healthy pouring of olive oil, a very small bit of balsamic vinegar (shhh — my fiancé thinks he hates vinegar), oregano and basil, salt and pepper, and a diced up green pepper. Pretty sure I won’t be buying store-made pasta sauce even if I can find it without badness, because that was SO easy and it turned out incredibly delicious. I meant to add spinach but forgot, so the final product was hot sausage, mushrooms (which are not strictly approved on my diet, but I don’t think they cause me problems so I’m testing the waters a bit), mozzarella, and some parmesan. Behold:

I’d highly recommend this recipe. I’m definitely going to tinker with other combinations of veggies, too!



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I Appreciated Presidential Speeches on The West Wing.

Hello, and welcome! This blog is, quite simply, my place to dump whatever I feel like talking about — maybe it’ll be a cool new recipe I made (likely from Pinterest), a fun makeup look I did, or products I like, or adventures I’ve taken, or whatever else comes to mind.

Firstly, a brief explanation, because I always wonder where blog titles come from. Not long ago, a new album came out by Open Mike Eagle (you can buy it on Bandcamp, and you really should, because it’s absolutely brilliant and also not very many dollars: click here if you like cool shit). In the first song, there’s a line about appreciating presidential speeches on The West Wing, which caused an insatiable desire to rewatch the show, beginning to end. I mean, who doesn’t love those speeches? Heathens and conservatives, that’s who. Anyway, I’ve been watching it continually for weeks, and there’s no end in sight, thankfully.

(I’m watching it right now, actually. UB40’s “Red Red Wine” is playing in this episode, and it’s the greatest.)

Anyway, “Island of Discontent” was a news (well, actually, I think it was the weather channel, but whatever) headline on a TV in the background of one of the episodes, and I thought, you know, I live on that island. I’m never content, even in the best of times. It’s not that I fail to appreciate what I have, or the good things happening in my life, but more so that I’m a big fan of deliberate personal growth and of becoming the best me I can be. It’s not an easy process, because who enjoys picking on themselves for their own shortcomings? But it’s necessary in order to grow. I never want to become stagnant. Ergo, I try my best to figure out what in my life needs attention, and attend to it posthaste. I hope that attitude will be reflected in this blog, and I hope it’s not boring and/or painful to read about!



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